Supermarket Showdown

I haven't posted in a while, but I just had a very disturbing and vivid nightmare.  I wanted to write this one down because I actually remember a lot of details even hours after waking up from it.

I was doing some grocery shopping at a supermarket that I didn't recognize.  It felt like a mix of Target, Grocery Outlet, and Costco.  I picked out some veggies, milk, and eggs and head to the cashier.  The cashier made some small talk but I couldn't respond and I realized I was feeling hungover.  I paid for my stuff, but when I looked down I found out I just bought some rotten tomatoes and gooey molding corn.  I didn't feel like arguing and started heading out the door. 

A squad of about 6 police officers rush in from the automatic doors.  4 of them were in navy blues, and a couple of them were in civilian clothes.  They pushed us back towards the center of the supermarket.  There was no time or room to escape because this place only had one doorway.  It was a long 10 seconds until we heard a gang of 4-5 armed individuals storm in. 

There was so much commotion, I figured I couldn't trust anyone or assume anything.  So I hid among the shelves behind boxes and tried to avoid running into anyone.  I couldn't risk getting accidentally shot by the cops either.  It was a frantic scurrying from aisle to aisle trying to find the next hiding spot.  At one point I was cornered and boosted myself above the shelves in the middle of an aisle to hide on the top. 

From there I was able to get the lay of the land and see most of what was going on.  I saw cops in active shooter maneuvers and stances.  Very few shots from either side were hitting so the shooting went on for a long time.  Eventually the cops were able to subdue most of the shooters.  I saw injured and traumatized people hiding in corners of the store.  Then I looked toward the front row of the store where they sold camping gear. 

There was a guy in a hunting vest and a baseball cap casually drag a lawn chair onto the top of the shelving.  In his other hand was an automatic shotgun.  It was kind of a funny image because he was so calm among the chaos.  He slowly set up the chair and looked up.  I was a sitting duck.  He sat down and held his weapon in both hands.  Adrenaline shot through me and I rolled off the shelf and sprinted to the end of the aisle.  A rhythmic pulse of pellets started spraying in every direction.  Everyone: shoppers, cops, employees took cover and waited for the maniac to reload. 

A moment of silence and I looked up and saw the chair.  The place was a mess all around me.  Pellets, shells, shredded boxes and motionless bodies.  Where did the guy go??  I heard boots stepping just around the corner in the aisle next to me.  Another shopper is cowering and whimpering "oh god oh god".  I see the guy steadily walking toward me reloading the shells.  In my head I thought, "this is my only chance, I have to try to tackle him or something?" But like most of my dreams I can't get myself to move to fight him.  I hear a shotgun go off, but it was from the right side slightly behind me.  It was a cop and he was aiming straight for the maniac's head.  I was expecting to see his head blown straight off, but I woke up in my bed.  Chest was POUNDING. 

Phewff it was just a dream.  I looked at my phone. crap it's only 3am.  2 more hours till I have to wake up. I wake up at 4am, 5am, and finally 5:34.  10 minutes to brush my teeth, kiss T, drench my bedhead, get dressed, make coffee, and hit the road.

The Intermittent Zombie Apocalypse

Last night, I slept like a rock.  On the outside, I must have looked peaceful as hell.  Hell indeed!  In my mind I experienced the Intermittent Zombie Apocalypse.  Intermittent you ask?

I was in the backyard of my parent's house probably enjoying some yardwork with my dad.  It was a sunny summer afternoon and I felt very relaxed.  Suddenly I see my usually calm neighbor burst out.  I stop to wave hi, but he barely notices me.  He's frantically nailing planks of scrapwood on all his windows.  It looked hilarious and reminded me of a cartoon character rapidly building a house.  My dad puts a hand to his head, "I shoot! it's almost 6 o clock!" I see him nail two boards onto our back door before he drops the hammer and runs into the house.  What the hell is going on?

As the sun dips behind the adjacent house, I begin to see slow-moving people climbing over our backyard fence.  Zombies! Using all my Walking Dead and World War Z knowledge, I nail one more board onto a window and run into the house.  I grab the nearest thing I can find, a chair.  By then one of Them have already broken into the house.  "Broken" is hardly the right word to use here.  Nothing was in their way.  I take the chair and start swinging and stabbing at Them1.  As with all physical fights in my dreams I do Zero damage.  I might as well be brushing Them1 with a feather.

I abandon my chair tactic and look for something that can deal more damage.  I'm running aimlessly around the house.  To buy myself more time I find myself in the farthest corner of the house: my brother's room.  I grab the metal music stand, and imagine a trident on one end and a rectangular blade on the other.  Hiyah! Swing! Swipe! Smash! I wait for blood to spray....but alas, nothing.  All of a sudden They all disappear, but the house is trashed.  It's 9 o clock and I can't believe I spent 3 hours gently nudging Them one by one.  Relieved, I go back to sleep.

Suddenly it's the next day probably 5:30pm.  This time we're prepared.  I'm back in the yard again.  I turn around to look at the house, and there are 500 planks of wood completely covering the backside of the house.  The sun dips behind our adjacent neighbor's two-storyhouse.  I see a hand clasp over the top of our backyard fence.  *Auuhghoouhggggg* *oowoeeuugheae* *ding-ding-diiiing* *brinngading dingg*

I slowly open my eyes and wake up to another nightmare. It's 5am in the morning and I have to wake up to drive to work.

Hot off the Grill

I just woke up from this one and it's wild!

I rarely remember my dreams, but this one is fresh in my mind.  I'm back at home in SF, but for some reason I'm depressed as hell.  I'm just lying around on the carpet (we have hardwood floors now), so I guess I'm a teenager at the moment.  I just don't feel like doing anything.  I realize that I've been couped up indoors forever so I go out for some sunshine.

I walk out and eventually meet this cute Korean girl (that progressively turns into Natalie Portman, so I'll call her Natalie).   We're talking and we're hitting it off, and the sun is shining, birds are chirping, zippity doo dahh zipppity dayy.  She brings me back to her abode where we end up playing deuces with her dad.  This man is like a large mountain military man, kinda intimidating so I'm very nervous.   Then I look at my hand, and I have a four of a kind Kings, but two of them are diamonds!  shit.  he's gonna think I'm a cheat, and clobber me.  I start to sweat, and my heart is racing thinking i'm going to die. Luckily he gets a phone call and has to go.  phewf.

Natalie takes me downstairs in the basement where she lives.  I'm relieved that I didn't have to show my kings until I met her pet.  Her pet was Smeegle from LOTR... I really wanted to impress her so I'm all pretending to think he's adorable?  this dream was going horribly wrong.  I'm trying my hardest not to grimace when Smeegle's around just staring at us.  I take her to another room, and we're about to make out, but she flinches away.  "I can't, my mom's gonna banish you". ...what?  Apparently this girl's got magical powers, and she sealed us in the basement so the mom can't get to us.

The mom is upstairs with her fireworks magic trying to break the seal.  She's cackling up a storm, working furiously.  I'm pretty fed up by now, so I just go up stairs and try to reason with this woman before she pulverizes me.  "Why can't I date your daughter?!" "well dear.. wait you're Japanese right?" "No.. I'm not Japanese, why's that matter?"  She smiles and doesn't say anything after that.  She summons her servant to give me a bunch of candies and sends me away.  wtf.  what about my Natalie!


I'm walking down the street again and bump into Gary where I tell him what happened and he cracks up at my misfortune.  Then I wake up.

Note:
-Natalies my 2nd celebrity dream girl.  Reese Witherspoon is my 1st.

backtoback sleeptalking

This weekend I stayed over at my cousin's apartment.

Day 1:
"good...good"
(1 hour later)
"wraaeereewar!" (they tell me I sounded like a fierce mean ole' cat)

Day 2:
"Frankenstein sounds good.."

what does this mean?
Is it like.. Frankenstein's singing voice sounds good?
or is Frankenstein a food... what do you wanna order? Frankenstein sounds good.
or..

Cops

So last Friday I had this dream where I was driving my car somewhere very hilly in SF. I'm having a lot of fun, until I spot a motorcycle cop from the corner of my eye. Crap! I focus back in front of me, and double crap. I just ran a red light because I was distracted by the cop. How ironic.

So I get pulled over, and the cop walks around from the front of my car. He pulls off his helmet and she's beautiful! I roll down the window and we lock eyes, and there is instant chemistry. She blushes and tells me in this adorable Spanish accent that I'm going to be let off with a warning. She then proceeds to remove...

...my car hood and we see the foam sheet covering my engine bay is torn up! We're all trying to piece it together, wondering how it got shredded. Then I realized that car engine bays don't have a foam sheet covering them! That's when I realize its a dream and I wake up.
Then later in this same day, I'm driving on I-205 down to Eugene. Some douche SUV driver is tailgating the hell out of me, so I speed up trying to cut into the middle lane. Then the SUV moves over, and another set of light is tailgating me. What the hell is wrong with these people!!

blue, red, white lights flashing. The officer walks over to the passenger side of my car, takes off his helmet, and he is not a beautiful Spanish woman. He then proceeds to write me a ticket for $287. fml.

Subconcious Crackhead?

k, maybe I sleeptalk more than I think, its just no one's around to hear me. Wilton's been sleeping in my room cus' the other bedroom is an oven and this is what he witnessed heh>>

Chad (formal voice): Dealing... of Crack.
Wilton: chad? what?
Chad (formal voice): Dealing... of Crack.
Wilton: Chad why are you dealing crack?
Chad (thick southern accent): 's where the money's at!

Chad: man, why's so hot up here?
Wilton: what?
Chad: goo gee goo gee goo gee (with hands waving around)

Then he kept on saying: "Hey CHAD! sleep talk! sleep talk some more!" over and over again, and it totally woke me up and i was oh so angry!

double witness

yea here's one that I forgot about that happened couple weeks ago.  I was completely exhausted and just collapsed on Dillon's living room carpet and knocked out.  Everybody else was still awake.  Wilton and Angel were watching tv on the couch or something, and they see me sit up with my eyes closed.  I point in Angel's direction and say: "You're a human being!"

i'm a crazy person

Haha after this past few days, I had two sleep talking incidents.  I kind of noticed a pattern.  I think the more tired I am when my head hits the pillow, the more likely I'll voice my dreams. 

Seattle Trip:
Dillon's account.
So I'm half asleep and all of a sudden I hear Chad say, "No don't do it! No Stop"
I look up at him with a confused demeanor, but I figured maybe he cramped while sleeping.
Than Chad goes on to say, "Ouch! Ouch! OOUCH!"
At this point I'm like, oh he's just sleep talking again.
He ends by trailing off, "No... don't do that to the lamp..."

 Few days later, Wilton hears:
Chad: (In a thick southern accent) Just hangin' out, do thangs.
Wilton: (laughing) What? Why'd you say that?
Chad: (In a thick southern accent) Advertisements


-10 minutes later-


Chad: (In a thick southern accent) I don't want yer life!